The Last One

It’s been a while since I updated you on what’s been going on with me medically, and since I don’t want to bore you with a bunch of technical stuff, I’ll get right to it: I have decided to stop taking the medicine that regulates my blood sugar. On Monday, Brandon will be taking me to La Posada at Mesilla Valley Hospice so I can be comfortable and ride the rest of this out.

Last November, my sugar levels crashed and twice we had to call for an ambulance to come help stabilize me. That’s when I had to start taking the medicine. Since then, it’s been pretty awful and the side effects are just too much. Most days I balance pain meds with just staying comfortable and it’s exhausting. I’m so tired.

For a while, there were still some things I wanted to get done. With a little help, I’ve crossed them off my list. I’m not scared of dying. My life has been a good one, and I’m at peace with this decision.

When I first started this blog, I knew the day would come that I would have to write the last post. For me, the blog was therapeutic, and a love-letter of sorts to my friends, family and friends who became family. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed sharing it. You have all made an impact on my life and I appreciate you following me on this journey and cheering on Team Lori.

There will surely be lonely days ahead, and when they come remember I am always with you. I am the wind at your back and the sunshine on your face. I am blooming flowers and raindrops in the summer. Most of all, I am the toast that comes before a good glass of wine. Please think of me and smile.

I love you all,

Lori

50 thoughts on “The Last One

  1. .love you, work wife..wherever you go after this ride is over I know you will bring the light, laughter and sass..and maybe the awesome baking/organizing too, if they need it there. ♡♡♡♡♡♡×*infinity emoji*

  2. May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun and find your shoulder to light upon. Safe journey my beautiful friend.
    Love always until we meet again.
    ❤️ Robin

  3. You’ve made a Lori shaped spot in my heart that I will treasure and nurture and share freely with the world. I love you so Damn much Lori. Blessings to you all.

  4. I have never met you but read your blog and admire your incredible strength and courage in the face of this demon. You are obviously a wonderful person, I can tell from your writing and your passion for life. I can not imagine the loss those close to you are dreading when I feel as I do as a stranger. Many virtual arms will be holding you even as your loved ones hold you, and many hearts likewise will lift you and your family and friends up. I honor your spirit and pray for your comfort as you face this last hurdle.

  5. Lori, I have read each one of your blog posts and have admired your humor and grace as you have dealt with your cancer journey. I wish I had met you sooner, because I think we would have become great friends and would have enjoyed a lot of awesome St. Clair wine together. Wayne just adores you and your family and we are always thinking of you. We send our love!

  6. Though I never met you, I can’t help but tell you how much I have come to admire and care for a person I’ve never met. You have bared your everything for us and yes! I am a Lori cheerleader and proud of it! It was just today that I was thinking, hmmmm we havent had a blog in a while and here it is. The last one that I have dreaded. Lori, I bid you love, laughter, and peace! You have been an inspiration to many of us. Your courage is unmeasurable and I thank you for allowing us to share this journey with you! I hope to meet you someday on the bright side! God speed beautiful lady!

  7. I am so glad I have wedding cake and that Thanksgiving food prep n wine to remember amd cherish. Ride out on that white horse Lori, I look forward to those beautiful summer blooms. Until we meet again…..

  8. You are such a beautiful person inside and out! You are an inspiration and I will print and carry The Last One as a reminder of faith and strength. Thank you. Godspeed ❤

  9. Lori we went to high school together and I didn’t learn about your struggle until recently. What do you say to someone who faces death full knowingly and way too early. I’m sorry just seems so quaint. I guess there are no words. But know that my heart breaks knowing that this is your path. It breaks for the family you’ll leave behind and the pain you’ve endured. Wishing love and peace to you and your family.

  10. Lori, I am your Moms cousin, Anna Bell Garcia. Your Grandpa Marcie Garcia was my Dads, Paul Garcia, was-youngest brother My parent, Lupe and Paul Garcia, lived in Albuquerque, where I grew up. I have done lived Anaheim Ca all of my adult life. It has been many years since I have seen your Mother probably since we were little girls. Peace be with you and with your family I will think of you often🙏🏼 Anna Bell Garcia Arguello

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  11. All I can say is we love you Lori. Thank you for your friendship and inspiration. Thank you for loving Josh and for always being there for all of us. Prayers will continue and I hope you can rest peacefully. We will never EVER forget you. I love you my sweet friend.

  12. You have made such a beautiful difference in this u
    Sometimes ugly world. I cannot tell you how much love and respect I have amassed for you and your fight.
    You win. ❤️❤️
    God bless you, Sweet, beautiful, Lady.

  13. May peace, love, and comfort wrap it’s arms around you and your family. The world is a better place because of the love and joy you’ve shown us all.

  14. Lori, your blogs have changed my life forever, you have been a true inspiration to me. I looked forward to your blogs, you truly are a fighter. God bless you and your family, Rest assured you made a huge impact on so many lives, you made us laugh and cry, my heart has more love and my eyes see so much more thanks to you.

  15. God will take your hand and give you the strength. .I will pray for you Lori..God Bless you ..You put tears in my eyes..Trish (Friend of Belle)

  16. Lori you don’t know me but I feel that I know you!! Please know that you have impacted my life in many ways and have made me appreciate everyday I have. Your an amazing person and know how many lives you have impacted!!! Cheers to you and God bless you and your beautiful family…

  17. You are loved and admired by so many! Such a brave, bold, beautiful person you are Lori! How lucky those are that are graced by your presence. May God bless you and keep you in this life and the next!

  18. 😥 it has been a blessing to have met such an awesome unordinary lady as Lori Paulson much Love and Respect. Until we meet again… Vaya con Dios 😢

  19. You are nothing short of amazing, Lori. Thank you for being such an amazing inspiration. My family and I have cheered you on from afar, praying for you and your precious family. We will continue to do so! May you all experience profound peace and comfort in the times ahead.

  20. Dear Lori,
    You will always be special to me. I remember your smile, your voice, your laughter, your intelligence, your dancing ability, many things. Thank you for being a friend to my daughter. You are a beautiful gift to this world. You are in my prayers. Love, Renee

  21. Lori, I love you and so glad you were brought into my life. Your strength, courage and love of life is so inspiring. Those of us that will continue on this earthly journey will never forget you! I pray you have no suffering and your days are peaceful. God bless you, your sweet family and loved ones. Hugs!!!

  22. We followed our mother’s journey with breast cancer and were amazed by her strength. You have been given the strength to achieve so much throughout your courageous battle. I enjoyed reading your blog. May you be at peace and with less pain and discomfort. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  23. Lori, it has been a pleasure working with you and getting to know you. You are such a wonderful and positive person. I pray that this will be a peaceful transition for you.
    Lots of love,
    Samantha

  24. Lori, our meeting was only once at a sad time, no less. You’re my cousin’s love! Your blog has been such an inspiration to those of us battling our own battles silently. You’ve been in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you WARRIOR!

  25. You indeed are the sunshine in our lives, and each lovely cloud in our sky will remind me of you. Your mother made me laugh with the things she did to keep you on the straight and narrow as a young lady… and I cry with her now. You are so very loved. The strength it took to be there to let Miah know you and how you gave his zest for life and adventure will last beyond even his lifetime. You will be missed daily. Oceans of tears for you love…

  26. Lori, you will always continue to be my strength, hope and love in my daily challenges. I am forever grateful for your amazing uplifting spirits and positive outlook that reminds me of the good things in life. I will miss your glowing smile, be at peace my dear friend, until we meet again 💜 Jess

  27. You are an awesome person! You are such an inspiration to everyone! We will miss that beautiful smile but will never forget! ❤️ Dyers

  28. Although I don’t know you but you said it all as you wrote your blog Perry Sanchez is my first cousin and take it you two are good friends I want to let you know that by what I read you seem to be a very strong lady soar with the angels you have earned your wings on this earth God Bless you and your family Love you

  29. I started reading shortly after my friend Marlyn was diagnosed. To be honest your love of the Aggies drew me towards you, as I am also a die hard Aggies fan . The more I followed your blog it taught me to appreciate the small things we often take for granted. Thank you for sharing your journey and opening up to all of your followers. I know you are a diehard Aggie. So I will end this with #AggieUp. God bless you and your family during this difficult journey we call life. Thank you for being a great example on how to face the obstacles in life head on.

  30. Beautiful Lori,
    My heart is heavy my dear friend. You have a special place in my heart. I moved back to my home town in 1996 and stayed in contact with a few close friends from Cruces. You were one that crossed my mind often and I’m not sure why,? Maybe, because that beautiful smile you had on your face EVERYDAY! Or perhaps the drive and inspiration to make school days the best they could be everyday by being so positive and persistent. Maybe it was your name,,,,,Simply an easy one to remember,,, whatever it was about you it kept you in my heart and on my mind! Then came facebook and you were one of my first friends on my list . I can remember saying Lori Paulson outloud at work when I saw your picture in my friends list. Still as beautiful as ever and that smile that would take everyone’s breathe away still planted firmly across your face. I read this horrible news when you first started this blog and I was simply lost for words. I didn’t really want to believe it, or try to make sense on how something so awful could be happening to such a beautiful, flawless, simply perfect creation as yourself. To feel the strength you continue to carry through reading your posts is truly amazing. I am honored to have met you in this life time and I say that with a smile. Thank you for your extra special inspirational time you have blessed so many of us with. Until we meet again rest in paradise my beautiful friend. I’m sure you remember my sister Tammy and if you happen to meet up with her in eternity please tell her I love her and miss her so much! Love you Lori

  31. Lori,
    Wish I had known you before this whole thing started. Reading your blogs have helped me in many ways and I have seen how they have continually demonstrated your strength of character. Your ability to express your thoughts and events with a sense of humor and insights from has been very inspiring. We will miss your personality and brains. I am so sorry you have had to go through such suffering. We will be thinking about you long, long after it is over. You have found peace in a terrible life situation. Love to you.

  32. For me you will always be a wine and food pairing greater than the sum of its parts, a kitchen table crowded with food and happy friends, a willingness and ability to turn wherever you are into a dance club, and a perfect day to enjoy a glass of brut (or any wine, really) outside. I will do my best to hold myself to the standard you always held me to. You are a professional inspiration to me and—much like the world of wine that you introduced me to—without you, I probably would have never experienced a great love I now have in my life. (Though I probably would have gotten myself into a little less trouble on occasion. 😉 But I *do* hate to miss out on trouble.) You still are, and always will be my girl crush. I love you, Lori.

  33. God speed Lori. You have touched so many through your journey. Your beautiful smile and touching words have inspired and encouraged many. Blessings to you and your family in the days to come.

  34. Lorie I am grateful for Junior League or I would never have met you! I still remember that young, beautiful single girl with long beautiful hair walking in with such confidence and smiles! I am lucky to have met you and am blessed to be your friend! May God hold you in his arms and give you peace until you are ready to go with him. I’ll miss you.

  35. I don’t know where to start or even what to say. THANKS LORI!! You were and still are such an inspiration for so many people. Your light will shine bright for eternity.
    Thanks for taking in my Tra and giving him a home and a family away from home.
    You have left Brandon and Jeremiah a long legacy and much love. They will be comforted by many family and friends and will always know the love you have for them.
    Job done, rest easy my friend, GOD SPEED LORI!!
    Granny

  36. Lori, God is the comfort and the strength. The had opened his arms and received you in his mansion. The mansion he prepared for you. Enjoy it mija and be happy. No more pain, no more suffering. May my good Lord bless Brandon, Jeremiah, your friends and family. My thoughts and prayers are with all of them. Loved you kiddo and you knew that.

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